Things didn't work out with the guy and initially I thought I was alright, but it's starting to go downhill from here. I can't sleep a night without having a dream where we're having that fight again - me crying my eyes out on the bed and him packing his luggage to leave. The pain that we cannot bear, will kill me upright. Kitchen knives are dangerous and I almost tested it out on my vein yesterday night, but I was staring at it and I saw my foot, that disgusting scar from a year ago and I thought, if I wanted to feel a pain greater than the one in my heart, I should make it a beautiful one. It's my birthday on Tuesday, I'll be working the whole day till night, but the next available chance, I'm going to tattoo my foot. I wanted to tattoo my wrist so I would never think of slicing it again but I decided that it's not cool to show the world my pain especially in the pretentious world I live in.

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side
But you're long gone
Yeah you're long gone now

P.s: I heard he's already dating other people. Can't say I'm surprised by that but can't say I'm not hurt by that. This is when I paint my face black with ashes.